


Penny's Code of Conduct For Sheldon Cooper

by WittyWallflower



Category: The Big Bang Theory (TV)
Genre: Bonding, F/M, Friendship, Pre-Relationship, Sheldon responds well to structure so rules are good for him, shifting pov
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-16
Updated: 2018-11-03
Packaged: 2019-05-23 23:43:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,306
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14943569
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WittyWallflower/pseuds/WittyWallflower
Summary: Penny rolls with Sheldon's love on contracts and creates one of her own to teach Sheldon how to be a better friend to her.





	1. Chapter 1

It started when Penny asked to borrow Sheldon’s blow dryer.  
  
Well, really, it started when the whackadoodle was born. But the _current_ issue began when Penny’s blow dryer crapped out just when she really, really needed to look her best for an audition. She strongly questioned if it was worth it as she listened to Sheldon’s list of rules for borrowing one of his personal possessions. Yes, she promised to clean the thing before she gave it back. Less out of thoughtfulness and more because she didn't want to deal with the meltdown Sheldon would have if he found a single blonde hair.  
  
But when he reappeared with the blow dryer in question (A professional grade salon model, complete with a carrying case. The man barely had a full head of hair.) and a freakin’ contract for its temporary use, Penny couldn't hold back the eye-roll any longer.  
  
“Oh my god, Sheldon…” she whined. Who asks a friend to sign a contract to borrow something as minor as a hair dryer? They live across the hall from each other! Its not like he couldn't use his emergency key to 4B to take it back whenever he wanted.  
  
Sheldon and Penny had known each other long enough that Sheldon knew exactly what she was objecting to without her having to specify. He leveled a look at her but didn't say anything. He didn’t have to. She knew exactly what he would say about the matter. They didn’t even need words to have this exchange.  
  
Annoyed at being backed into a corner, because if she didn’t hightail it back to herself place now, she would be totally freakin’ late… Penny dashed off her signature on the contract. Promising herself she would read the fine print on the copy Sheldon gave her later.

  
~~~~  
  
_Well_ , Penny thought as she let herself into her apartment later that day, _that was a waste of time and gas._  
  
Flipping on the lights, she threw her purse on the couch where it landed beside the hastily-abandoned hair dryer she’d been using up until the second she left. It really hadn’t been worth it to borrow the thing after all. All that hassle for an audition where the casting agent cut her off after only 3 lines to thank her for her time and shoo her out the door. The sight of the blow dryer was kind of mocking her so she decided to get rid of it.  
  
Of course Sheldon being Sheldon, she was sure there was some highly specific way of cleaning it and repacking it in its carry case that he would insist on. And of course, that would be spelled out step-by-step in the borrower’s contract that had slipped off the cushion and now lay half-hidden under the couch. Getting the thing had been enough of a headache, she didn't need a lecture when she returned it, and she definitely didn't need any more strikes, so she would humor the bat-crap crazy boy and do it his way.  
  
But no way was she slogging her way through Sheldon’s legalese without a glass of wine.  
  
~~~~  
  
It took way too much reading, a few tries at disassembling then reassembling it, and it wouldn't match his fastidiousness... but eventually the clean blow dryer made it back into the case, packed just neatly enough to satisfy the minimum requirements. Penny pulled the zipper shut and tossed the case on the table, trading it for her third glass of wine. The first two she had sipped (at first, later she gulped) while reading over the highly detail contract. Sheldon must have a million drafts of different contracts on his computer to be able to pull this one out so quickly.  
  
How much time did he spend sitting around thinking of hypothetical situations that could happen with small appliances?  
  
Three sets of three knocks at her door announced the arrival of the very man occupying her thoughts. She hollered at him to come in, remembering too late that would invite him to scold her for apartment safety. Luckily though he was distracted upon entering when he saw the borrowed item and its contract on her table. As they were the only neat and orderly things in sight, it was clear she was preparing to return it.  
  
With a wave of a hand and a sip from her glass she said,  
  
“All yours, Sheldon. Thanks again.”  
  
Now Mary Cooper raised him with manners so he was going to respond with “You’re welcome, Penny.” but when he bent to grab the dryer he happened to notice the level in her wine bottle. What came out instead was a very pointed-sounding “Hmm…”  
  
“What, Sheldon?” Penny asked shortly. “I promise i cleaned the damn thing out. I even used tweezers to get a hair that was caught in the little grate thingy.”  
  
“Oh, I’m sure you did your best, however pedestrian your best may be. I can’t ask for more than that.” Sheldon was oblivious to Penny’s silent seething. “I just realized i neglected to put anything in the lender’s contract prohibiting use of the machinery while under the influence of alchohol. I will have to make the appropriate modifications to the contract for next time.”  
  
“Oh believe me, there won’t be a next time.” Penny said. If she had to, she’d wear her hair in a scarf instead. The mood she was in now, she didn’t particularly want to even see Sheldon again, let alone deal with his kooky contracts.  
  
Or that condescending look that he gave her before he left. The one that seemed to say he knew exactly what a mess her life was and had no doubt she was incapable of keeping it together enough to tend to her own hair. To him it was a foregone conclusion that she would be back to mooch more of his food and borrow his personal hygiene items, as if she weren't putting them both at risk of lice.  
  
Glowering at the door when it closed behind him wasn’t enough for Penny. She sent the contract winging through the air to hit the door with a small but somewhat satisfying thud.  
  
Only Sheldon Cooper could turn a borrowed blow dryer into a stack of papers with that kind of heft.


	2. Chapter 2

_Ugh, who is knocking at ass o’clock in the morning?!_ Penny groaned internally, rolling over and shoving her tangled hair out of her face. Of course she didn’t actually need to ask who, that was self-evident from the knock, but the 'why so early' question had better have a damn good answer.  
  
11:03 AM the alarm clock read. Crap. She didn’t even get to start her day with a good throat-punch. Penny seriously considered rolling over and going back to sleep. She could ignore the triple knocks until they went away. If they didn't, she had earplugs. She had actually remembered them to bring them to the club for once last night and now they lay discarded on her nightstand. Penny loved the loud music but a throbbing beat plus a couple glasses of red wine meant a killer headache. She preferred to at least save that part for the hangover the next day.   
  
But if past experience had taught her anything, ignoring Sheldon wasn’t going to make him go away. He would probably linger outside her door, perched on a stair with his laptop on his bony knees so he could ‘get some work done’ while he waited. If leveling professions in Age of Conan could be termed work by anyone sane. And she couldn’t just sneak around pretending she wasn’t home. His freakish Vulcan hearing caught everything and she certainly wasn’t going to go all day without flushing the toilet.   
  
_Speaking of toilets_ , she decided to make him wait while she got up to do her morning business. Penny even lingered to splash water on her face and finger-comb her hair into some order before finally relenting and making for the door. He _had_ waited three minutes passed the “safe” time, which showed a lot of restraint for him. Still, it was not Penny’s job to put up with the whackadoodle first thing in the morning and he only came over this early when he wanted something. So when she opened the door, she didn't bother with a greeting.  
  
Sheldon hesitated for a moment. Social norms suggested Penny had a certain duty as ‘hostess’ (since they were at her apartment) to invite him in and offer him a beverage. However, his visit was unannounced so he was unsure of the the protocol.  
  
“Good morning, Penny,” he said. A generic greeting was always safe to start off with. “I’m ready to go to the grocery store at your earliest convenience."  
  
There. He had stated his purpose in coming and graciously given her time to get ready for the day. Even though it meant his schedule for the day would be thrown off if he had to wait more than 12.4 minutes for her to complete her morning ablutions.   
  
But, judging by the look on Penny’s face as she shut the door without a word, his thoughtfulness and potential sacrifice were not appreciated.   
  
15 minutes later there was a knock on Apartment 4A. Sheldon was surprised to find Penny on the other side. Not particularly astonished that she had shown up after all; people did tend to see the wisdom in giving him what he wanted. He was surprised because she tended to barge right in. Also bewildered by the messy handful of papers she shoved at him. Five or six pieces of paper, ripped unevenly from a Hello Kitty notepad covered with her sloppy scrawl in baby blue gel pen. He reflexively tidied the stack, staring at her in confusion.   
  
“Good morning, Sheldon.” Her tone had that overly-sweet quality to it that Sheldon had learned did not bode well for him. “We can be off to the grocery store as soon as you sign this contract.”  
  
“Contract?!”   
  
Sheldon’s voice cracked in consternation. She may as well have written it on cocktail napkins. Everything about it ran so counter to the order and legality of his contracts, it was an insult to categorize them together. He couldn’t even form words to express it.  
  
He tried his best quelling glare on her but Penny refused to budge, looking back at him with an impassive expression. Except for that one raised eyebrow that challenged him. Dared him. Insinuated that he could dish it out but couldn’t take it. Sheldon quickly scanned the so-called document she had given him.   
  
Fortunately, it wasn’t long. Unfortunately, it was ludicrous.  
  
But when he opened his mouth to say as much, Penny cut him off.  
  
“What’s it going to be, Sheldon? Better decide now. If we don’t leave soon, you will miss the produce stockers. Other people will put their dirty hands all over the fruit before you get the chance to pick out yours.”  
  
She thought she had him backed into a corner but Sheldon disagreed. The 'contract' she wrote held no legal weight and thus was merely a social agreement between acquaintances. Breaking it would be unfortunate but wouldn’t make him uncomfortable and anxious like breaking a legally binding document would. Besides, PEnny’s rules seemed simple enough to follow.   
  
Sheldon pulled a pen from his pocket and, with some distaste, signed his neat signature over Hello Kitty’s face. He handed the sheaf of notes back to her so they could go.  
  
Penny aimed a smug grin of triumph at Sheldon’s back as he locked his apartment door. But replaced it with a serenely neutral expression when he turned back. She may have won, but there was no need to rub his face in it.  
  
 _Yet._


	3. Chapter 3

> **"Rule #1: No making fun of how I'm not as smart as the rest of you."**

 

When Sheldon was forced to sit back and hold his tongue, patterns appeared that he had not observed before. At first he had objected to Penny’s rule because it felt unnecessary. He did not spend an excessive amount of time commenting on her lack of intellectual prowess. At least he didn’t believe he did, until he observed how many comments he had to restrain himself from making to abide by the terms.   
  
Now that he had to stop and think about how his words might affect her, Sheldon found it was only only too easy to say something that might hurt her feelings.   
  
Whats more, he began to notice the others doing it too. Making clever little comments that went over her head on purpose. Sharing science jokes with each other and waving Penny off when she asked them to explain it. When they did explain, they were so condescending that it made Sheldon want to grind his teeth. A toddler shouldn’t be forced to listen to such insipid, patronizing explanations, let alone Penny (who despite her lack of a college degree was a deeply intuitive and street-smart person)!  
  
The truly worst part about it was when he realized that Penny herself didn’t just accept this behavior from her friends, but seemed to unconsciously play into it. One night he sat in his spot and watched, uncomprehending, as Penny played dumb to Wolowitz of all people about a concept he knew for a fact that she understood. With his eidetic memory, he could recollect more than one conversation with her on the topic and, while layman to the extreme, her grasp of the rudimentaries was solid.   
  
Their friends seemed to expect it, quirking eyebrows at each other when Penny turned her attention back to her Thai food. He knew he didn’t have a lot of expertise when it came to the norms of social interactions, but those sly shared smiled over Penny’s head didn’t seem very friendly. They were laughing at her, not with her. Sheldon knew only too well what it felt like to be laughed at, even if he didnt always understand why others were laughing at him.  
  
He watched as they laughed at his kind, blonde friend. And Penny the actress unconsciously set herself to playing the role of the blonde bimbo.

  
  
Sheldon hated being wrong, but he rarely felt personally responsible for any errors. His conclusions were only as good as the data he had. The sample size could be too small, or the data collection methods flawed. With behavior like this, he was starting to wonder how accurate his assessment of Penny’s intelligence ever was. Despite a habit of making comments to the contrary, he had always considered her of at least average intelligence. But what if she was more than that? What facets of her mind had he not seen? What had been hidden away behind expectations and prejudices and the phrase "blonde monkey"?  
  
Sheldon decided further data was needed. He would make personal observations to test the now suspect conclusions. He would spend time with Penny engaging her in stimulating conversation. He would have to contrive excuses to spend more time alone with her so the rest of the group didn’t taint the results. The easiest way to get Penny to operate at the level he suspected she was capable of was to play to her strengths, get her engaging at her best at something she enjoyed. 

 

Which is how Sheldon found himself researching how to rent a booth at the local Maker Faire. He could get his data _and_ further the Pennyblossom brand at the same time.

And he knew Penny would enjoy seeing all the homey handcrafts.

 

 

 

 

 


	4. Chapter 4

> **"Rule #2: No comments about how pointless you think my acting is."**

 

 

Refraining from deriding Penny’s career was difficult at first. Sheldon was used to discussing his work. It was an easy go-to when forced to make small talk with people outside of his circle. It was rare anyone understood his work but people were usually (rightfully) impressed by it. And pretending to listen to other people talk about theirs often bought him an extra moment or two of appearing normal before he inevitably started to offend them.  
  
Sheldon Cooper understood many things about the intricate ways in which the universe works. But he found it hard to grasp why people became upset with him for stating facts. It was not his fault that facts were facts, he didn't choose to make them true. Nor was it his fault if the truth was uncomfortable or upsetting to the listener. As a scientist it behooved him to report the facts as he observed them. He much preferred working with numbers to talking with people; numbers don't require tact.   
  
His innate honesty is precisely what kept getting him in trouble with Penny before the contract. When she complained about her stalled acting career, Sheldon’s instinct was to report the problems he saw in her methodology. If she was aware of the problems, she could fix them and hopefully enjoy more success. But what he saw as helpful, she saw as critical. He wasn’t peer-reviewing a paper in a scientific journal. Penny hadn’t asked for his help on the matter, therefore the help wasn’t welcome. No matter how beneficial it could be to her.   
  
When he finally started looking at it as an aspect of her life, of Penny herself, and not like code he had to search for bugs, Sheldon had to admit that Penny did put her heart into it. She attended acting classes and vocal lessons. He often heard her practicing for the latter from across the hall, much to the chagrin of his Vulcan hearing. Auditions were slotted in before, after, and occasionally even during a slow Cheesecake factory shift. Penny sometimes felt she wasn’t doing enough for her career, but truly any more time put into it would have to be sacrificed from her job and her income was already insufficient.   
  
Sheldon was forced to conclude that Penny really was doing the best she could with the resources available to her. Spending more time with Penny was teaching Sheldon to be empathetic and he had an inkling now why his comments on her career bothered her. He wouldn’t want to listen to someone expound on how he hadn’t been able to win a Nobel Prize yet. He was doing his best work trying to achieve that, there was nothing further he could do.   
  
Sheldon had never felt so much in common with Penny as in the moment he made that comparison.   
  
So he took his example from how Penny listened to him talk about his work. Penny listened to him rant about Gablehauser and try to talk out complex equations aloud. It didn’t matter that she couldn't understand them, she wasn’t there to help him with his work. She was there to listen and support, letting Sheldon express what he needed to say. Offering a sympathetic ear and gentle encouragement.  
  
Sheldon replaced his unwelcome critiques and suggestions with “break a leg” and “I am sure you did well, Penny”. It wasn’t long before henoticed the shift in how PEnny talked about her acting.   
  
The complaints about crappy casting agents and surgically-enhanced competition wasn’t gone entirely, but more and more Penny made sure to highlight what went well in an audition instead of what went wrong or how the chips were stacked against her. A bad audition used to make her mope and even weep at times, much to Sheldon’s distress. She still got sad but was more accepting and no long needed a bottle of wine to console her.

And without Sheldon's brand of harsh criticism, Penny took it upon herself to critique her own performance. She analyzed it, looking for weaknesses which she took to her acting classes so she could focus on improving. If a casting agent said something negative during an audition Penny no longer stormed out calling him a dick under her breath, she asked them to clarify so she could decide if there was any merit to it and, if so, what she could do differently. It was the kind of effort Sheldon had always hoped to see her making, long before he had realized he had any emotional investment in her success.   
  
  
Penny herself didn’t even realize how comfortable she was becoming discussing her career with Sheldon. She had always been dso efensive about it to her friends, with their PhDs, working for universities or big pharmaceutical labs. Every time it came up in conversation with the group, she would agonize over whether it was time to give up her acting dreams and face reality. Her friends, god love ‘em, weren’t the greatest at being supportive. Especially Sheldon. He had always had such derision for her job and the way she went about it.   
  
But the day she found herself approaching him to ask for help in making her resume more professional she realized that wasn’t the case anymore. Not only was he willing to help, but he did extensive research to familiarize himself with resume and head-shot protocol in the acting business. Throughout his suggestions for improvements he never once made fun of her anything she was doing wrong.   
  
Sheldon even praised her for reaching out to a casting agent and landing a meeting. Penny tried to explain that it was less a business meeting and more a drink at a cocktail bar with a guy who just happened to work at a casting agency. But Sheldon insisted it was _networking_ and that knowing more people in the business could only be a good thing for her. She had expected the dude to be a skeezy perv wanting to trade a roll in the hay for a role on a show, but it turned out he was gay. Sheldon was right after all. And when she told him about it, he didn’t even say “I told you so.”! Just said that he was proud of Penny for the effort and determination she put into it.  
  
His pride in her only motivated Penny to try more and reach higher. When she landed a supporting role in a short but popular web-series, Penny raced home, bursting with excitement to share the news with Sheldon. Unable to contain it, she burst through the door of 4A without knocking and launched herself at him in a hug so hard it nearly toppled them both into his whiteboard.


	5. Chapter 5

> **Rule # 3: It's none of your business how much I drink**

 

Whatever misgivings Sheldon may have had about Penny’s alcohol consumption, he was not one to comment on it. His mother’s attempts to curtail his father’s drinking had never worked out well, for Mary Cooper or her children. Even when Sheldon’s friends went out to the bars, he was careful to deride them for their futile plans to gain copulation rather than their intent to get messily intoxicated.   
  
So Sheldon didn’t give much thought to that aspect of the contract until he actually felt an urge to comment on her alcohol consumption. Or rather lack of it. When he began spending more time with her in order to make his observations, it was common for her to have a few glasses of wine during the evening. But lately, it appeared as if Penny poured herself a glass out of habit and didn’t always finish it if they became involved in a game or conversation.   
  
But perhaps that was a symptom of distraction. His company was riveting, of course she would give it her primary focus. And Sheldon also knew she imbibed more while socializing. And evening in with him and the Ninth Doctor was hardly comparable to a club full of pounding music and pulsating bodies. He would need a wider range of data before he could establish a new baseline of consumption for her.  
  
  
Penny did not know what to think when Sheldon suggested they go out somewhere that wasn’t pre-approved and on Sheldon’s regular schedule of venues. It was more of a cocktail bar with some appetizers than a restaurant but it was a cute, chic sort of place. Penny could see having a girls’ night here. Or even a date. Which made it a very un-Sheldony sort of place.   
  
What’s more, when they were seated (on high stools that had her tugging her skirt hem back down her thighs) Sheldon grabbed the cocktail menu and began studying it intently. At first she thought it was just a Sheldon thing, like how he always looked at the Cheesecake Factory menu even though he never even considered ordering anything that wasn’t his usual cheeseburger. But then she saw him googling things on his phone.  
  
“Sheldon, what are you doing? You don’t drink.”  
  
“I have in the past.”  
  
“Yeah, usually under pressure or because someone tricked you.” Penny said, cringing inwardly because she was usually the one strong-arming him into the alcohol. “And it went really bad each time so… again, what are you going?”  
  
Sheldon folded the menu closed, setting it on the high table and laying his hands on top of it.  
  
“I have been researching the ties between alcohol and social relationships.” And he had. He didn’t mention it was because of Penny, just let her assume it was another overly-intellectual attempt at appearing normal when at a party. “It seems to have quite the ability to form bonds between people, even those with little in common.”  
  
Well, that was true enough, Penny thought. She had a Facebook full of people she became friends with thanks to that tipsy hour or so before last call.   
  
“Its true I have not had good experiences with drinking, but in every situation I drank more than I could handle. I’ve wondered if there is a genetic predisposition towards an inability to stay within my limits.”  
  
  
“Because of your dad. Because he was an alcoholic.” Penny could not have felt more rotten for all those times she’d slipped Sheldon a double instead of a virgin.  
  
“Precisely.” Sheldon said with a nod. Further evidence of his findings from Rule #1: Penny hadn’t needed an explanation of genetic personality traits. And her empathy made the connection to his father and the fraught relationship Sheldon had had with him.  “There is always the risk that when it comes to drinking, I am not able to moderate myself.”  
  
“So why risk it?”  
  
Sheldon was silent for a moment. On the surface this was all just an excuse to put Penny at her ease about drinking around him so see how it affected her level of consumption. But there was nothing but truth to what he said. He did wonder if he couldn’t control himself, could only ever be the kind of messy drunk his father was. Sheldon didn’t feel a desire to imbibe on a regular basis, but he didn’t like having his rational mind be overridden by the fear that he would embarrass himself every time he had a beer.   
  
“To learn the truth. To know more about myself.” Sheldon replied. It sounded like hokey psychobabble but it was factual. “Besides, I am with someone I trust. Any risk is minimal.” He waved off her concern and opened the menu once more.  
  
Penny couldn't help but feel a little choked up. He trusted her even though she had done nothing to deserve it when the topic of booze was involved. She didn’t have the healthiest drinking habits herself and was not a good role model for Sheldon. But he knew that and still trusted her. Mr Robot Whackadoodle even went so far as to tell her that. Compliments came more easily to Sheldon lately but this felt different.   
  
“Well,” Penny said, and has to clear her throat to keep speaking. “Guess i better steer you right then.”  
  
She scooted her stool closer to Sheldon’s so they could both look at the cocktail menu.   
  
“We’ll start with just one, and order some appetizers to help soak it up before we decide if we want more.” Penny suggested.  
  
She raised her hands to stall Sheldon’s objections. He may have picked the place but she knew that vetting the cleanliness of the kitchens was a lengthy process that involved looking into their entire history of grades from Food Safety & Sanitation.   
  
“The alcohol left in your mouth will help kill any germs.” She lied easily. She could tell he would relent but took pity. “I promise if we ever come back you can inspect the kitchens personally.”   
  
Sheldon looked so pleased by the idea, Penny decided she better start buttering up the staff now in case she had to make that happen someday.   
  
“Now,” Penny turned back to the menu, turning the page away from the whiskey and bourbon cocktails Sheldon kept coming back to. “I’m gonna suggest something with vodka instead. Your taste-buds will thank me.”  
  
Penny explained the merits of clear liquors and Sheldon asked about the flavors of various liqueurs. It was the closest she would ever get to giving Sheldon a chemistry lesson, Penny thought with a smile. It wasn’t until the server arrived to take their order that either realized how close their heads were bent over the menu. Or that their elbows were pressed together as they sat right next to each other despite the spacious table. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN - sorry, its not proofread, I will revise it at some point but it was post it unedited, or procrastinate on it for another two weeks so i figured this was a better option


	6. Chapter 6

> **Rule #4: I have not had sex with 31 guys. Stop telling people I have had sex with 31 guys. In fact, just stop talking about my sex life.**

 

 

At times Sheldon needed clarification on the terms of the contract.   
  
After he had signed it, he mulled it over as they drove to the grocery store. Penny didn’t fail to notice Sheldon was silent about her check engine light and hadnt suggested one educational road game.   
  
“Whatcha thinkin’ about so hard, moonpie.”   
  
“The dubiously legal document I have shackled myself to. And only Meemaw calls me that.” In his distraction, Sheldon’s protest lacked much heat.   
  
“Did you have any questions about anything?” Penny asked.  
  
“Per the rule forbidding me from discussing your sexual partners, will that include Leonard? Am I not to mention his name in your presence? Should i ignore him while you are in the room?”  
  
Penny rolled her eyes. “Of course not. Sheldon."  
  
“What if you were to have coitus with the mailman, or the Filipino boys who deliver the questionably authentic Thai food we consume each week?”  
  
“Oh my god, shut up!” Penny cried before Sheldon could do any further. Sure, the delivery guys _were_ really cute but he was missing the point by a light year.  
  
“Look, all I’m asking is you not talk about which or how many guys you see me around with. I’m not sleeping with every guy I speak to.  You always make it sound like I... get around.”  
  
“And ‘getting around’ is a bad thing?” he asked.

This didn’t seem to be the case in Sheldon’s experience. Most males he knew were often heard to bemoan the fact that they didn't have _more_ sexual partners. Wolowitz in particular tended to idolize males that linked with many women.   
  
“Not in itself.” Penny tapped her fingers on the steering wheel, trying to figure out how to put this so Sheldon would actually process it. “People aren't... nice to a girl with a reputation of having too many sexual partners. A guy can sleep around all he likes but its different for women. They call her a slut.”   
  
“I see.” He didn’t, but he was beginning to. “How many partners is considered an acceptable number?”  
  
“That’s the thing, its different for everyone. Look at your mom. You know she’d think having sex with anyone you aren’t married to was wrong. You never know what the person you are talking to is going to think, so the easiest thing to do is just not talk about it. It’s really no one’s business anyway.”  
  
Sheldon may not grasp all the social mores, but he did understand the effect one’s reputation could have on how they are treated. The double standard was confusing though. He himself was mocked for not pursuing coitus with women, while women who did pursue coitus had to do so with caution and discretion. Perhaps it would be better if everyone just minded their own business when it came to sexual encounters. He certain would continue to tend to his own and stay out of the concerns of others.   
  
“Very well, Penny. for the sake of your reputation I will no longer voice my observations about your paramours.”   
  
  


* * *

  
  
  
A few months later the day of the Maker Faire had arrived. Penny had been a roller-coaster of various moods and emotions since Sheldon had announced he had secured them a table to sell her Penny Blossoms. By turns she was ecstatic by the idea, excited by the potential for extra income, unsure if she had enough variety to sell, insecure about the simplicity of her product’s construction, embarrassed to have not thought of such a idea before, impressed that Sheldon had set it up, and touched that he was with her every step of the way, helping.   
  
In the week leading up the fair Sheldon never knew when he entered Penny’s apartment whether he would find her feverishly designing new barrettes or gnawing on her fingernails while she considered backing out.  
  
But eventually the day arrived and found them with an attractively arrayed table if Sheldon did say so himself. Penny had designed clever displays and Sheldon had arranged them so that the most eye-catching variety was visible to passersby. Naturally he was terrible with the customers so Penny assigned him to refilling the flower pots she had painted to match her various product lines and staying out of the way.   
  
While stocking and readjusting the displays (frequently stepping his tall lanky form into the extreme corner of their space to avoid the people crowding around him) Sheldon found himself flummoxed by the struggle to hold his tongue. Most of the rules had been (or at least became) easy enough to follow.

He hadn’t failed to notice the trend of rules that told him to more or less shut up. But a closer understanding of Penny had still somehow managed to create clearer paths of communication. It wasn’t until he had to suppress the questions that he realized how easy it had become to ask her what he wanted to know.  
  
During a swell in the crowd short moments before, Sheldon had noticed an interaction between Penny and a man standing at a nearby booth. If it could be called an interaction. There were moments of eye contact held while Penny did an impressive job of simultaneously interacting with customers and completing their purchases. Her smile seemed different when she looked at the man, not the cheerful but professional grin of a crafter selling her wares. Sheldon was unable to quantify how but he was sure he had seen similar looks aimed at men Penny had found attractive in the past.   
  
But then abruptly Penny had spun away from the man. Before she turned to help a young teen eyeing the Batman Penny Blossoms, she rolled her eyes. Sheldon looked back to see the man passing on the arm of a female companion. In the past Penny had expressed grave disappointment over failed romantic endeavors, yet now she appeared almost amused. Sheldon found himself bemused and didnt enjoy that state of things.  
  
Penny noticed right away when Sheldon started acting squirrelly. It reminded her of when he had a secret and was struggling to keep it. Between visitors to her table, she grabbed a chance to corner him yet. Once he spit it out he would calm down and stop scaring customers with his gangly twitching.  
  
“Whats the problem, moonpie?” She demanded, arms crossed over her chest.  
  
“Penny, only Meemaw-“ he started.  
  
“Yeah, yeah,” she waved him silent. “I can tell something is on your mind.”  
  
“I am trying to abide by your rules.”   
  
Penny might have asked which rule exactly but Sheldon had raised an eyebrow at her with some significance. There weren’t many subjects Sheldon was shy about expressing his opinions on, regardless of the setting so that narrowed it down considerably. She was actually pretty proud of him for learning how to express subtle social cues with body language that way.   
  
“Sheldon,” she asked, “what could you possibly have to say about my sex life when we are surrounded by crochet doilies and embroidered tea towels?”  
  
 _What did he have to say?_ Sheldon wondered.  
  
“I observed you and that gentleman making calf eyes at each other.” He wasn’t sure where he was going with this but thankfully Penny took the lead.   
  
“Who? Oh, him? If he came over i was gonna try to sell him one of the tie pin prototypes i made the other day, see if i should make up a whole line of them.” Penny thought rhinestone tie pins for men would be a hard sell but Sheldon seemed to appreciate the tiny lightning bolt in her first attempt at a Flash design.  
  
“So, you weren’t trying to initiate a sexual relationship with him?” Sheldon asked.  
  
“What? No way! Didn’t you see him following his girlfriend around? I don’t date a cheater and if he’s making bedroom eyes at other women while he’s on a date, he’s almost definitely a cheater. Besides, I’m a little busy too busy for flirting today.”  Penny said as she had to step away to greet more people arriving.  
  
Sheldon hadn’t gained any useful information, so he wondered why he had felt so compelled to speak. Nor was he sure why he felt a quiet sense of relief that Penny wasn’t on the prowl for a date. He had expected she would be. Sheldon was aware that not having coitus for many weeks could make Penny irritable and he hadn’t heard of her spending time with any man recently.  
  
Except himself.   
  



End file.
